It takes courage to build a deep and healthy relationship.
When I moved from India to Hong Kong in 2007, I met Susie (the name has been changed for the purpose of this article) at a social gathering. After frequent interactions, I thought she and I had developed a great relationship. Two years later, I found that she was in the habit of sharing personal conversation about my life and feelings with her other friends. I felt vulnerable and insecure. I also felt betrayed; I tried to summon courage to convey my heartfelt feelings. But, for some reason, I wasn’t able to let her know how I felt. As a result, I took the easier route (unfortunately, not the correct one) by reducing my day to day interaction with her. Our intimate friendship boiled down to purely formal acquaintance.
I forced myself to introspect how this incident can help me grow. I was in the pursuit of a foolproof recipe for deep and healthy relationships. In this process, I learned the most important lesson of my life. The lesson of understanding the value of accepting without judging and blaming others. This prompted me to reconnect with Susie. After a three year hiatus of our friendship, I grabbed a moment and shared my thoughts. Thankfully, I was able to do so by assuring (not complaining or accusing) her that our relationship is important to me. I learned, interestingly, that she was not sharing only our personal conversations but also those of some other friends. Eventually, losing them too. It was just her way of communicating with her friends without realising the implications of such actions. Realizing this, she has now addressed her habit for betterment. NOW I can proudly say that Susie and I are sharing the most meaningful friendship.
I strongly believe in: “It’s easier to break a relationship than TO FIX it.” Thus, to break this meaningless narrative, I live by THE mantra that I have written for myself as a guide to all relationships. I hope you find this as helpful as I have in my life.
This is the basis of my beautiful relationships. I find this a priceless gift to give to oneself. I request my readers to live beyond excuses, expectations and complains. Nurture yourself to blossom within and enjoy the radiance of new relationships in this new year.
Happy New Year! HAPPY NEW BEGINNING!
Stay tuned : Who am I as a Life Coach?